The anxiety and courage that comes with being vulnerable.
It’s a new year, though not much has changed in the pandemic status. Most people have found new ways and routines around their lives, and yet, these will never seem completely “normal” to us. Some are still struggling with uncertainty, and a lot are still grieving lost futures, jobs, dreams, and loved ones who have lost their battle with COVID or another health issue.
Regardless of our circumstance, we’ve seen ourselves and other people cope healthily or otherwise. …
Here’s the pause you need to take before you do #selfcare.
“Oh. My. God. I will just forget about everything, binge-watch Dawson’s Creek reruns on Netflix, and eat whatever the hell I want! I don’t want to talk to anyone! Hashtag: Self-care!”
I so hear you.
Sometimes, we get so burnt out because of work, finances, relationships — LIFE! — that we just want to drop everything, move to another country, and start over.
Of course, if you’re like me and almost everyone else I know, the possibility of that happening is close to zilch. And so here we are. …
Because romanticizing a hard life can feel… good.
When I was asked by a (wiser) friend more than a decade ago why I did the things I did back then when they obviously did not make me happy, I answered with full honesty and said, “Because I don’t want to be mediocre.”
I still struggle with this mindset to this day and actively try to remember that there’s nothing wrong with “mediocre” or “uneventful” — and that this is merely a matter of personal preference.
Wanting to have a life full of color is not an appalling thought; I’d like…
When self-forgiveness and self-compassion are out of reach.
It was 40 minutes into our sixth session and this 26-year-old has been crying for the past ten minutes. I let her. Sometimes the catharsis happens after a good cry.
“I still want to be with him. I love him even when he treats me like shit. I want you to help me endure all the hurt.” She continued to sob.
I gave out a tentative “Hmm,” and stayed silent.
“Please. Help me tolerate this relationship. He is my everything.”
Just to give you context, this client is arguably successful in her chosen career and a strong-willed single mother who’s…
How to journal your way to mental health when you hate journaling.
We all have read and heard about journaling and its wonderful benefits to mental health. If you haven’t, here are quick and practical bullet points as to why it works:
- Journaling is a form of data-gathering, and if we are to address our mental health scientifically and logically, we need data.
- It’s a form of emotional release. You start letting go of negative emotions and help multiply positive emotions, making it great for people experiencing low moods like depression and sadness (Koopman, Ismailji, Holmes, Classen, Palesh, & Wales, 2005; Lepore, 1997).
- It allows the brain to slow down, especially when…
One of the most important skills to learn in this lifetime.
I have been spending almost 4 decades now being a space-holder. My job titles over the years are not exactly “space-holder,” but the nature of my work (whether as a corporate trainer, a yoga teacher, studio owner, a meditation teacher, a life coach, a counselor) and the roles I have in life (as a friend, a parent, a daughter, a sister, and a wife) are most certainly exactly that.
If you look at the roles you play, chances are, for most of your life, you have probably been asked (implicitly or explicitly) to hold space for others, too.
We hear…
How yoga went beyond toned muscles and increased flexibility.
I’ve been doing yoga for a total of 9 years now and it was quite serendipitous – I was having back issues (I had fixed sagittal imbalance a.k.a. flat back syndrome and some compression around the cervical and lumbar spine) and was going to a physical therapist that time, but I’ve used up all the sessions covered by my health card. My doctor said I should try yoga. I brushed it off. A couple days later, I received 3 months’ worth of Gold’s Gym membership as an exchange for a project.
They had yoga classes.
My life turned around completely…
The answer is: probably, yes. Here’s an invitation to remove ourselves from the victim's perspective and consider that, maybe, WE are the perpetrators.
Ah. Gaslighting. One of the most favourite topics in the last four years.
We hear it all the time, but what is it really?
Gaslighting is the term used to refer to a (most often) subconscious technique in manipulating how another person thinks. The intention of gaslighting is to gain superiority or to alter the reality of the other person, and is often observed when a power dynamic is at play. (So yes, gaslighting may happen to all kinds of relationships that have a power dynamic: boss-employee, parent-child, husband-wife, government-people. It did, however, become more prevalent in romantic relationships.)
And no, this is not about baking cupcakes.
I was supposed to conduct a 2-day workshop on mindful parenting last month through Lighthouse Wellness Philippines, but the community quarantine happened and everything had to be moved to an indefinite date. This is me modifying some of the contents of that workshop to fit today’s whole new world.
Whether you are in a parenting role or not, this piece is relevant to you and may help you in understanding your own parents or primary care giver/s.
If you are a parent, I am writing this for you. We know that no one is ever really ready for parenthood, and…
How turning to spiritual practices can become an ally in this trying time.
When I ask people what first words or phrases come to mind when someone mentions the word “spirituality,” most of them would answer God, Jesus, pray, and religion. This is not surprising from people coming from the only Christian nation in Asia — a whopping 90% of the Philippine population is Christian.
Spirituality has been making waves in subcultures in the recent years, and the rise in popularity of the ancient Hindu practice of yoga and meditation has contributed to this. Yoga is the 4th fastest growing industry in the US, and an average of 40 million Americans practice it…
Rachel Bonifacio
A wellness coach and psychological counselor — actively participating in life.
